Interview with a Frigocibophobiac

So, you know how we love food? Well, we have a friend named Luke Fox who also likes food, but only if it’s hot. That’s right, Luke despises cold food. It may sound unbelievable, but he’s dead serious. Get ready for a soul-baring interview with the man who’s spent years nuking, grilling and well, starving, because his food wasn’t hot enough.

Tell us about your most unusual food aversion.
I hate cold food with a passion. (I also have a “no white sauce” rule, which prevents me from eating mayo, sour cream, ranch dressing, etc.)

Is there a scientific name for it?
Yes, sort of. Frigophobia is the fear of cold or cold things, and cibophobia is the fear of food. So I’m a rare sufferer of frigocibophobia and have been since I was in preschool. We’re a hard-to-spot bunch, like albino alligators or Texan vegetarians.

When did you first realize your eating habits were unusual?
For nine years I didn’t eat lunch on weekdays because there was no access to a microwave at my elementary school. I love me a good breakfast, so it wasn’t too bad.

What exceptions are there to this hot-foods-only rule?
Sushi and ice cream. I can eat cold cookies but prefer them hot out of the oven.

Give us some everyday examples of things you won’t eat.
Cold meat? Gross. Cold cheese? Stay away. Raw vegetables? Pass. Untoasted bread? Fugghedaboudit. Salads are my nemesis.

If we stuck all these items in a microwave or toaster, would you eat them?
Yes. Baked, melted, broiled, steamed, fried, barbequed, poached—I’ll eat pretty much any food served hot.

How does your food aversion affect the people around you?
I just take care of myself. If it’s a cold meal, like a sandwich, I just borrow the oven. I honestly believe that pretty much anyone, given the option, prefers a hot sandwich. They just get lazy. How else do you explain the popularity of Quiznos? At restaurants, yes, sometimes my options are limited. Most places happily substitute soup for salad, and if not, my dining partner benefits from extra salad. You can make people happy that way.

Now it’s time to get deep, real deep. What are the psychological reasons behind your dislike for cold foods?
My second step-uncle, thrice removed, once choked on a raw carrot. He’s fine now.

What have you done to try to overcome this, hypnosis perhaps?
Nothing. I’ve embraced it, but unfortunately I might have passed this disorder along to my daughter. She’s showing symptoms. I once brought in a Foremanesque grill to the workplace so that I could cook at lunchtime. I grilled myself a piece of salmon indoors and stunk up the entire office. Coworkers still hate me for that.

What have people suggested you do to get over it?
Usually they say, “Just try this cold salami. It’s delicious.” Or, “When was the last time you tried a room-temperature banana? Maybe your only-hot-food thing has passed.” I pay them no mind. In fact, I’m starting to preheat my plate as well.

What would happen if I crept up behind you and stuck a cold shrimp cocktail into your mouth, then followed that up with some gazpacho soup?
Homicide. Or maybe just a lot of vomiting and crying.

What cold foods do you think you may be missing out on?
I’ve heard brie is to die for.

Do you think your food aversion will ever change?
Never. Some people think it’s a choice, but we’re just born this way. Should left-handed people try to become right-handed?

What are your all-time favourite hot foods?
Oh, man. Now we’re talking. Fish tacos, peameal bacon, jerk chicken, spinach roti, baby bok choy, seared tuna, apple crisp, pizza with anchovies, anything that involves pesto… I could go on forever. I spend an abnormal amount of time talking about and thinking about food. Big fan of duck.

Luke Fox is a Toronto-based writer, editor and author. His first book, Ice-T shot me in the face & eleven other stories about rap music, is available here.